


Amnesty Compilation

by SamanthaGirlScout



Series: TAZ Vine Compilations [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Social Media, Damn it Griffin, F/F, Fluff, Gen, Let them have the Internet!, M/M, Social Media, TAZ Vines
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-09-26 16:22:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20392621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SamanthaGirlScout/pseuds/SamanthaGirlScout
Summary: If you think that the Amnesty cast wouldn't make some bombass videos given the chance, you're wrong.This is an on-going compilation of those short videos.





	1. a flowering ramp

**Author's Note:**

> This is a fun little project I started up over on my TAZ sideblog. There is no upload schedule for any of this, but I'm going to try to upload them over here in a more timely manner now. Please not that there is no order to these and I stay up to date on Amnesty so read at your own risk. 
> 
> Also, IDK if I'll make any for Balance, too. But, if I'm so inclined they'll be in the same "series".

_*video opens to a flowering ramp in the monongahela forest*_

**Aubrey:** _*off camera*_ Hey Dani! Look, look! I found something really pretty over here!

**Dani:** _*from a distance away*_ What’s that, Aubrey?

_*the camera pans to a crunchy blonde girl walking towards Aubrey*_

**Aubrey:** You.

**Dani:** _*she stops and then covers her face in embarrassment* _Would you stop that?

**Aubrey:** Only if you stop being so cute!

_*Dani groans. The video stops right as she turns and walks away with Aubrey laughing in the background*_


	2. happy birthday

_*video opens to a plain cake with the words “Happy Birthday” Written above a crudely drawn duck*_

**Aubrey:** Hey, Duck?

**Duck far away:** Yeah?

**Aubrey:** Can you come help me in the kitchen?

**Duck:** What?

**Aubrey, louder:** Can you. Help me. In the. Kitchen?

**Duck, louder:** What’d you say? I can’t hear you in there!

**Aubrey, under her breath:** oh for the love of—

_*the frame blurs as she spins around and rushes to the door, throwing it open*_

******Aubrey******, waay too loudly (rip headphone users):**** I SAID CAN YOU HELP ME IN THE KITCHEN!

_*Duck looks up from his phone, exasperated*_

**Duck:** Aubrey if you wanted help you coulda just—

_*A cake rushes forward. Was it thrown? Was it magic? We’ll never know.*_

**Aubrey, as the cake lands on Duck’s head:** Happy Birthday, Fuck!

_*silence as Duck stares*_

**Aubrey:** Oops


	3. this bitch empty

_*video opens to reveal Duck’s apartment complex*_

**Aubrey:** This bitch empty!

_*Every window/door pops open to reveal all of the local cryptids*_

**Everyone:** YEET!


	4. pizza duck run

_*video opens to Duck lounging in his apartment messing around on his phone*_

**Aubrey: **_*off screen*_ Hey, Duck?

**Duck:** _*doesn't look up*_ Yeah?

**Aubrey: **Do we have any leftovers that I can eat?

**Duck: **Yeah. I think there's still some pizza if you want it.  
  
_*sounds of the Aubrey making food in the kitchen*_

**Aubre**y: Hey, Duck?

**Duck:** Yeah?

**Aubrey:** What animal says quack?

**Jake: ** _*snickers behind the camera*_

**Duck:** _*looks directly at the camera*_ No.

**Aubrey:** Aww... c'mon. My mind is blanking

**Duck:** Aubrey—

**Minerva: **_*leans into Duck's personal space*_ Duck Newton!

**Duck:** Jesus!

**Minerva:** If you do not know I could answer for you!

**Aubrey:** _*whining*_ Minerva—

**Duck: **Yeah. Sure. Knock yourself out.

**Minerva:** _*pauses for affect*_ The correct answer is: a duck!

**Aubrey:** _*groans*_ It's not fun if Duck isn't the one who answers...

**Jake: ** _*laughs*_

_*_ _There's a lull as the microwave finishes*_

**Duck:** Hey, Aubrey?

**Aubrey:** Yeah?

_*Duck sets his phone down*_

**Duck:** RUN! *Duck catapults out of his chair and barrels over a tv tray, sending it clattering to the ground*

**Aubrey:** Oh, shit._ *A plate clatters, there's a scuffle, and then the door slams open as both of them run out of the apartment*_

**Minerva: **_*looks on*_ He really needs to work on his form.

_*Jake loses it and the video ends*_


	5. hornets vs pine guard

_*video opens to Hollis haphazardly packing a bag*_

**Keith:** Whatcha up to?

**Hollis: **_* looks at the camera, annoyed* _I’m going too teach them a lesson.

_*video cuts to Hollis standing in the middle of a dirt road by their bike, sans backpack. They’re trying to look annoyed, arms crossed, but not doing a very good job of it*_

_*there’s rustling and then Jake pops into frame, running at full speed, a large rainbow flag on his back*_

**Jake: **THE HORNETS SAID: GAY RIGHTS!

_*More than ten Hornets jump out from their hiding spots, various pride flags on their backs*_

**Hollis: ** _*Whips out a nonbinary flag*_

**Hollis: **_*punches the air with the flag in their hand*_ GAY RIGHTS

**Hornets:** GAY RIGHTS!

**Keith: **_*behind the camera*_ The Hornets said: TRANS RIGHTS!

**Jake: **_*pumping the air*_ TRANS RIGHTS!

**Everyone: **TRANS RIGHTS!

_*the hornet’s continue shouting gay rights and trans rights alternating back and forth*_

_*they all stop suddenly when a National Park vehicle comes into frame and stops a few feet away from Hollis. The Hornets scramble to stand behind them*_

**Duck: **_*pops out and stands on the hood*_ The Pine Guard said!

_*the amnesty crew pops out, flags in hand*_

**Pine Guard: **GAY RIGHTS!

**Hollis: **The HORNETS SAID:

**Hornets:** TRANS RIGHTS!

_*The groups continue calling back and forth until it devolves into both shouting a mix of gay/trans rights and general cheering until the video fades out*_


	6. natural habitat

_*video opens to Ned working on something behind the counter*_

**Aubrey:**_*whispering in a narrator-like voice*_ And here we have Ned in his natural habitat.

**Ned:** _*scratches his head*_

**Aubrey: **That means ‘I don’t know’ in Ned.

**Ned: ** _*fiddles with the cash register, which opens suddenly, starting Ned*_

**Aubrey: **That’s his… Uh. Natural instincts?

**Ned: ** _*Ned starts taking out the money*_

**Aubrey: **Yeah. It’s his natural instincts.

_*the video ends*_


	7. bigfoot sighting

_*video opens to someone running through Amnesty lounge. After a little while Agent Stern comes into frame, dressed for a dip in the springs, carrying a towel*_

**Aubrey:** Agent Stern! Agent Stern!

**Agent Stern: **_*stops* _Aubrey? Is everything okay?

**Aubrey: **_*panting* _Someone said they thought that they saw Bigfoot!

**Agent Stern:** _*drops everything*_

**Aubrey: **Out by the Springs! C'mon!!

_*she grabs Agent Stern and leads him out back. Everything is blurry until they burst out the back door and the springs come into view*_

_*Barclay is relaxing in the Springs by himself*_

**Barclay: **Aubrey. Agent Stern. Can I help you?

**Agent Stern: **Aubrey said that someone said they saw Bigfoot back here. Have you seen anything?

**Barclay: **_*deadpans at the camera*_ Not a soul .

_*the camera shakes as Aubrey starts laughing*_

**Agent Stern:** Aubrey. You really shouldn’t believe everything someone says. Next time—

**Barclay:** If there _is_ a next time you’re cleaning the bathrooms for a week.

**Aubrey:**_ *sighs* _Fine.

_*The video ends as Agent Stern starts asking questions*_


	8. Chapter 8

_*Mama is lounging on a chair by the Springs. She looks almost peaceful.*_

**Jake:** Vibe check!!!

_*The camera pans up to find Jake standing on a nearby roof. He then jumps from that roof into the springs. A tidal wave springs from the pool, soaking Mama*_

**Mama:** _*glares at Jake*_ You'd best sleep with one eye open, Jacob. 

_*video cuts to Jake. He's fallen asleep at the dinner table. The room is deathly silent.*_

**Mama:** _ *walks up behind him, she has something slung over her shoulder*_

**Mama:** _*sighs*_ I did warn him. 

**Mama, deadpan:** Vibe check.

_*Mama then swings the object, a snow shovel, and slams the handle on the table. Jake shoots up, terrified.*_

**Mama:** It snowed. Go help shovel the front.

**Jake:** Yes, mama.

_*video cuts off as Jake picks up the shovel and starts moving to the front door*_


End file.
